Man's Take Magazine

Truly Manly Drink – Black Russian

Introducing the Pure Liquor Mixed Drink Rule for Manly Drinkers…

When you order a typical mixed drink, you’re leaving the strength of that drink entirely up to the bartender. Chances are there is a proper glass used in that establishment for the drink you’ve ordered, but the proportion of liquor to mixer (juice, soda, milk, etc) is entirely up to the bartender. The exceptions to this rule are bars that require their staff to measure every drink. These bars are run by losers who don’t trust their bartenders to make good drinks. I suggest you immediately drink elsewhere if your bartender needs to pull out the jigger for every drink.

The point is that you may get a drink that’s three quarters soda one night, and three quarters whiskey the next. In fact, your drinks might change throughout the night depending on how well you tip. One way you can combat this phenomenon is to order a drink like the Black Russian. It’s made from equal parts of Kahlua (or coffee liqueur) and vodka. The bartender can make your drink all out of proportion, but you can’t lose… it may taste like armpits, but it’s still all liquor!

2 oz. Vodka
2 oz. Coffee Liqueur

Note: There are numerous mixtures of this particular drink. I’ve seen it published as a 2 to 1 ratio in either direction, so experiment with it and mix it to your taste.

Thanks to my good friend Matt who invented the concept of pure liquor mixed drinks over a decade ago. The Black Russian has always been one of his favorites. I’m still talking about the drink, although it sounds like I might be referring to an exotic James Bond girl.

Point of fact — this is not a racist drink. The color (black) refers to the drink color thanks to the coffee liqueur, and the nationality (Russian) refers to the vodka that it’s made with. No Bond girls were harmed in the writing of this article.

We can go one step farther with this and start adding mixers to our black Russian to yield new and exciting drinks. Disclaimer: These drinks no longer qualify under the pure liquor rules and may not pass the manly test, but they are fairly popular drinks anyway. You can use this information for your lady.

The most common of these “downgrades” is the Black Russian’s transformation into a white Russian simply by adding milk. This is where I’m supposed to make a reference to how Michael Jackson turned from black to white, but you were probably already thinking that anyway.

In reality the White Russian is more of a cream/tan colored Russian, but Tan Russian just doesn’t have the same appeal. From the White Russian (vodka, coffee liqueur, milk) we can add Irish Cream to it. This multinational concoction is apparently no longer Russian. It’s instead called a mudslide. Some bars will make these frozen by adding ice cream to the mix. This is fine for your girl, but you might have to pony up your man card for a two week suspension if you intentionally order a drink made with ice cream.

Back to real drinks. We take our Black Russian and pour in a little tonic water. This yields a drink with a powerful name… the Mind Eraser. What a great name for a mediocre drink! It sounds so cool I want to drink one. This is marketing at its finest. Personally I prefer the Black Russian, but maybe you need some bubbles in your drink to feel special.

Just remember, erase your mind and visit the Russians of varying colors only when you have a designated driver. Real men know better than to drive wasted.

Related posts:

1. The Irish Car Bomb: One Very Manly Drink Concoction
2. Manliest Mixed Drinks of All Time
3. Long Island Iced Tea – Monthly Manly Drink
4. Kamikaze Shooter – Featured Manly Drink
5. Down the Hatch: The B-52 Ultimate Shooter Drink

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