Smooth Operator – Part 3 – The Soul of a Lady’s Man

Join Today Free

Man’s Take Content

Man's Take Magazine. Where Men Can Be Men!

Welcome to Part Three of the Smooth Operator Series. This installment captures the soul of the lady’s man and reveals a few things hot girls want. If you haven’t read the other Smooth Operator articles, you may want to start with Smooth Operator Part One – Meeting Miss Right Now.

Please note that I use the term ‘lady’s man” because I hate word “player” in this context. I can deal with the analogy to a game, but the reality here is you’re going to be meddling with girls’ emotions and that can be hazardous to your health and theirs as well. So the goal here is to get you to be a Smooth Operator who can meet and relate to girls, not a jackass frat-boy in a stupid sweater who can mark his territory like a Rottweiler.

Smooth Operators get lots of girls and make lifelong friends (often with short term benefits), while players end up with their pet rabbit boiling in the kitchen. Once the player tag is stamped on you, it’s anathema to the female population. You would be better off wearing a mix of horse shit and goat sweat cologne than getting branded a player.

The ironic part is that dating scenarios are usually much more of a game to women than men, but still they take offense to any reference to their being “played.” However, the whole point here is to learn what they react best to and start practicing those things just like you were an athlete in training. You need to practice your golf swing over and over again to get it right and likewise you need to practice your Smooth Operator persona as well until it comes naturally.

Keep in mind that scorned girls are vengeful and very good at spreading word of your tricks to others. They can also be incredibly creative when it comes to screwing up your life. If you stick to my advice here, you can have your cake (or pie) and eat it too (please no American Pie references). You can actually be the “nice guy” (sort of) and still get the girl, but you do need to be persistent and clever.

That statement about being the nice guy is really going to screw some of you guys up, so I better explain it. I don’t actually mean that you’ll be the appeasing, flattering, ass-kisser you may have in your head. Quite the opposite in fact. But, you will be able to flip things around so it really seems like the girl is making the first advances. If she is the one begging you for sex and you turn her down a few times, not only is it going to make the sex better for both of you (ok, mainly her), but it’s also going to paint you as the good guy for a future relationship, even if that relationship is just friendly.

Are you with me? Guys can be rather dense when it comes to this subject, so let me see if I can explain it a little more. Our goal is to disarm a girl’s defenses and act exactly the opposite of how most guys treat her. The average man is horrified at the suggestion that he a hot chick should “just be friends” because he wants to get laid. But if you go in and right away tell her you only want to be friends, it totally screws up her head. First, she suddenly thinks you’re safe to talk to and she wonders why you don’t think she’s hot enough to date. You’re clearly not trying to get in her pants, because you only want to be friends. See what I mean? Of course you really want to get her naked, throw her on the bed, and do unspeakable things to her.

Now, fast forward to a time when you no longer want to be intimate with said babe. You remind her that originally you only wanted to be friends. The value here is two-fold. First, it’s always best not to burn bridges. Hey, she might have a smoking hot friend (or sister, or mother, or pet sheep if that’s your thing). Second, you can always try to tap the well during times of drought. Now you’re with me… I can see the glint in your eye.

Time for the meat of this issue. Let’s look at what women desire and expect. Obviously looks help, but they really are not necessary as long as you take care of yourself as best as possible. You need to be clean, well-groomed, dress reasonably nice, and smell great (body, mouth, etc). Women notice details much more than men. A woman will notice that your shoes and belt don’t match, while a man can’t see anything that isn’t sticking out from the girl’s cleavage.

Hopefully you can figure out how to shower, shave, and brush your teeth. If not, then just stop reading this because you’re going to need to look for girls who also don’t take care of themselves, and this stuff isn’t going to work with them. So clean yourself, eat right, and start exercising. Buy some “going out” clothes and above all, stop using your looks as an excuse not to meet women. Look around once at a crowded mall or event. There are lots of ugly men with hot girls. It’s just not an excuse.

It is paramount you understand this simple principle. Girls do not want the same things you do. They don’t react to the things you do and they don’t notice the same things you do (they see quite a bit more often enough). Females are looking for an emotional experience (not necessarily love, but strong emotion) whereas men are usually looking for a physical experience (almost always hardcore sex). There are exceptions to these rules, but this applies to the great majority of hot girls out there. Recall that this is a numbers game, so you want to work with the largest population out there.

The most basic desire for women is to find a secure, strong man who takes control of the situation without being perceived as dangerous or angry. This type of person creates a feeling of safety and security, but he also is a challenge. She bats her eyelashes and instead of dropping down to kiss her ass, he says, “What’s wrong? Got something in your eye? Here’s a tissue…”

When an outrageously beautiful chick encounters a guy who is secure, doesn’t appear nervous, and refuses to kiss her ass she’s suddenly puzzled. She starts wondering if this guy sees something wrong with her and the game becomes her trying to win him, and not the opposite. When he tries to win her she puts up her defenses immediately, unless she thinks he’s really good looking, rich, famous, or something like that. In those cases he may score, but she’s going to put him through hell first.

The second thing girls absolutely love is natural humor that isn’t forced, even if that humor is pointing out imperfections about her. This is perfect because it reinforces the slightly egotistical behavior from above, while buffering it from sounding bitter or angry.

The goal here is seem like a “best friend” who points out things for her own good without sexual motivation, rather than a guy who is buttering her up to slip off her panties. Let’s say you want to compliment a girl you just met. That’s fine, but do it in a way she’ll never expect and avoid compliments that invoke sexual overtones. If sexual innuendo appears, blame it on her. You might ask why she’s trying to pick you up when you’re only sitting there next to her.

It sounds strange, but it really works. If you start a conversation with a girl, make her laugh, but then act cocky and somewhat disinterested, she will probably not leave you alone (unless you’re wearing a wedding ring, and even then it’s questionable). When you appear totally confident in yourself you will be far more desirable.

Think of it this way: would you walk into your local car dealer and start swooning over the car you want? I hope not. If so, expect to pay full price plus a little extra in sucker markup. When a car salesperson knows you’re hooked, he’s not going to throw additional bait at you. You’ve seen the sticker price, so that’s what you’ll pay.

If, however, you act disinterested and ready to walk away, he’s more willing to deal. He will be the one chasing you. Now this does mean that sometimes you’ll have to actually walk away and see who chases. If they don’t chase, you can always go back and try something else. Most importantly though, there are lots of women out there… even more so than car salesman. Have the confidence to walk away and see what happens when the situation warrants. If you maintain this attitude, you usually won’t need to walk away at all. You just need to project the feeling that you are anything but desperate and end the conversations entirely on your terms.

One more thing. Don’t be squishy, wishy, washy. Don’t offer your number and hope she calls. Don’t ask her where she wants to go to dinner with you. Be the leader of the conversation and make a specific suggestion for each case. If she doesn’t like it, she’ll let you know and you can make another one. Don’t concede control because it blows the Smooth Operator persona. Women (and most men) absolutely loathe the “What do you want to do?” … “I don’t know, what do YOU want to do?’

Blech. Forget that stuff. Learn a little about her and make a specific suggestion. “Hey, do you like sushi? I know this little hole-in-the-wall restaurant downtown that has outstanding sushi. Can you meet up on Friday at 6pm?”

Get her phone number or her email address. Don’t be a wuss and offer yours. She’ll never call. If she asks for your number, she’s taken control of the conversation. Chances are she’ll then end the conversation on her terms, and further cement her control over you. That control over you means that you’re at her mercy.

Got it? This is a topic that could span several volumes, so we’ll pick up more of the details in the next issue of the Smooth Operator Guide. Now I want to assign your homework.

Next time you go out, I want you to act like a Rockstar in disguise. Picture this in your mind and practice it until it works and you’re not nervous doing it. Pretend that you are a famous person with girls flocking to you. They want you and you don’t need them.

I don’t want you to talk about this persona or be disrespectful or condescending in any way. That will totally ruin it and make you just look like an arrogant ass. You need to treat it like the joke that it is, but never sway from the funny, cocky guy who takes control. You’re not actually Rockstar (are you?), so your disguise can’t come off.

So let me ask you a few questions about your Rockstar persona.

1. Would a Rockstar care that one girl doesn’t like him in a crowded bar?

Answer: He wouldn’t give a shit. He’d just move on.

2. Would a Rockstar make fun of a girl doing something ridiculous?

Answer: Absolutely. He wouldn’t care what she thought. But if he wanted to get some from her, he would insult her in a funny way that wasn’t condescending or disrespectful.

3. Would a Rockstar stick up for a girl who was having a problem with another guy?

Answer: Damn right. Even if he just met the girl, he would feel it’s his responsibility to protect her from the jackass who won’t leave her alone. He would throw down in a heartbeat (remember you’re not actually a rockstar so you don’t have to push it this far, but you do need to make the girl feel totally safe in your presence).

4. Would a Rockstar see a hot girl and wuss out at the last minute just because he wasn’t in his Rockstar getup?

Hell no. He would march up and start talking to her. He probably wouldn’t use his Rockstar name either, because it’s more fun that way.

So next time you go out think to yourself WWRD – What Would a Rockstar do? That is a Rockstar who isn’t drunk, high, or just a general dick.

Your assignment is to go talk to the five hottest women you see and act like you only want to be friends. You can even use that line if the conversation goes well. “I think we could become really good friends.”

I want you to steer clear of any talk about sex unless she brings it up first. If it does come up, project it all back onto her and pick on her for it. Ask why she’s trying to hit on you, why she can’t keep her mind out of the gutter, etc, even if you’re the one that brought up the topic originally.

Be the Rockstar in disguise the entire time you’re in the bar. Work on being comfortable, confident, and look for details you can use to start conversations. Take control of the conversation without being rude.

Remember to practice your persona before you go out and never talk about it or fall into a fit of flattery. Be specific and ask her to take the next step… whether that’s a phone number, a date, or going back to your place. Remember, Rockstar’s are busy people. They dictate the schedule. They end conversations. They suggest the meeting places that fit with their lifestyle.

There’s a really excellent eBook on this topic called Double Your Dating. When I read this book years ago I suddenly realized that about half my stuff worked really well and the other half didn’t work at all. It all depended on my attitude with the girl. When I acted cocky, confident, and funny, I couldn’t say the wrong thing. But when I started kissing a girl’s ass, I usually had about five more seconds before she started pulling the strings.

I highly recommend you read this book if you want to be a professional Smooth Operator and take action right away. It’s really great stuff and it absolutely works. Do your homework this week and you’ll see what a huge difference it makes.

By the way, one last note. This stuff works for meeting women online as well. If you adopt the same kind of attitude in your online communications and you’ll be absolutely amazed at how your response rate goes up. You see guys say stuff like, “Hope to hear from you soon” when they should just leave the conversation hanging as if they don’t really care if the girl responds or not.

I highly suggest starting online, as it’s easier and you have more time to think about your responses. Instead of wasting your time and money on crappy dating sites, check out the Man’s Take Guide to Internet Dating Sites to find the best online dating sites.

Share and Enjoy: