Man's Take Magazine

Real Men Get Tested for STDs

Men may be pigs… Strike that. Men are seed-spreading swine who will fornicate with virtually any willing participant of the appealing sex, especially after a couple of brewskis. I don’t have a problem with that. If it wouldn’t make me a total hypocrite I probably wouldn’t condone rampant sex because it leads to the spread of nasty diseases and the procreation of unwanted, neglected babies who turn out to be criminals or some other drain on society.

Alas, I am a man and I understand those instinctive behaviors wired into our DNA… So keep screwing whatever you want to screw, just make absolutely sure you wrap that winky and don’t do anything you’ll regret (too much) in the morning when the sun is up and you can see straight.

A few men have complained to me that their new girl won’t give it up unless he gets himself tested for various Sexually Transmitted Diseases.

This may cause you to think, “That’s ridiculous. Dump that bitch and find someone easier.”

But wait… this is a smart girl we’re talking about here. This is a girl who might just be a keeper. Hey, she’s probably not worn out and might even be a virgin. This is clearly going to lead some delays, but I want to put it right out there…

Real men get tested for STDs. They don’t balk at such a request just because it’s invasive and delays sex. Ok, I’ll relent a little there. It does delay sex and even for a real man it’s kind of embarrassing to go to your long-time doctor and ask to have your junk checked out. It’s also hard to feel manly when confronted with the notion that microscopic organisms might be swimming around in your body killing off your organs. It’s even worse that violence and hard-work will do nothing to help.

The reality is that your doctor often needs some reason to test you in order for it to be covered by your health insurance. When you see your doctor you may need to say that you think you’ve been exposed to a STD, though you probably don’t need to clarify as to which one it is as many diseases don’t manifest symptoms in men.

Your doctor will then give you a slip to go to a local lab. It’s really not a big deal. Alternately you could sit for hours in some scummy clinic nestled in the ghetto and let their “experts” poke and prod you. That isn’t a heroin needle you’re using on me, is it? You might have a better chance of catching an STD there than from your new girlfriend.

However, if you don’t want to wait for an appointment with your doctor or you don’t have health insurance there’s another option that’s faster, more discrete, and more convenient. Check out JustGetTested and order your test online. They’ll send you to a local lab where the magic takes place.

One quick note, JustGetTested does not have labs in New York, New Jersey, or Rhode Island right now… if you live there, you’ll need to talk to your doctor or local clinic.

Check this out… do you aspire to be a male porn star? You know there are standards for monthly STD testing in order to qualify. JustGetTested actually has a product for those who want to work in adult entertainment. Who knew?

Related posts:

1. What is a Real Man? Defining Real Men
2. Real World Self-Defense for Men

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